Victoria Wood's Best Lines
Victoria Wood has died aged 62 after a short battle with cancer.
In a career spanning over 40 years, Wood wrote and starred in numerous sketches, plays, films and sitcoms, including the award-winning comedy Dinnerladies.
Here we look back at some of her best lines:
- My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.
- All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
- Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
- Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
- I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
- I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
- I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
- I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
- Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
- People think I hate sex. I don't. I just don't like things that stop you seeing the television properly.
And of course, who could forget?
(video: BBC via transmissionends64)
More from The Breeze
Tell us about your favourite relaxing songs, and get a visit from The Breeze Team.
Elton John left temporarily stunned by fan stopping his Las Vegas show at Caesars Palace.
Find 1000s of singles in your area with The Breeze Dating. Sign up for free and start a conversation with like-minded individuals today.
Catch your local Breeze
Find your nearest station to listen live, see local news, features and more.
The Breeze VIP Club
Get the VIP newsletter, listen to full interviews and get more exclusively with the VIP Club!