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Madness It Must Be Love

Victoria Wood's Best Lines

victoria wood tribute

Victoria Wood has died aged 62 after a short battle with cancer.

In a career spanning over 40 years, Wood wrote and starred in numerous sketches, plays, films and sitcoms, including the award-winning comedy Dinnerladies.

Here we look back at some of her best lines:

  • My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.
  • All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
  • Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
  • Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
  • I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
  • I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
  • I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
  • I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
  • Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
  • People think I hate sex. I don't. I just don't like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

And of course, who could forget?

(video: BBC via transmissionends64)


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