On Air

David Perry 3:00pm - 7:00pm

Now Playing

The Police Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
You are viewing content from The Breeze East Hampshire and South West Surrey.
Would you like to make this your preferred location?

Victoria Wood's Best Lines

victoria wood tribute

Victoria Wood has died aged 62 after a short battle with cancer.

In a career spanning over 40 years, Wood wrote and starred in numerous sketches, plays, films and sitcoms, including the award-winning comedy Dinnerladies.

Here we look back at some of her best lines:

  • My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.
  • All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
  • Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
  • Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
  • I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
  • I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
  • I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
  • I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
  • Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
  • People think I hate sex. I don't. I just don't like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

And of course, who could forget?

(video: BBC via transmissionends64)

More from The Breeze